the shire is the worst show on television.

I grew up in the Sutherland Shire. I currently live in Wollongong, and I don’t regret leaving “The Shire” as it is known. It’s full of makeup-obsessed trashbags and nationalist, southern-cross-tattooed quasi-bogans (that’s a bogan that thinks they’re sophisticated due to self-delusion and higher-than-usual income). But I now find myself wanting to defend and console it, because its reputation just got worsened.

Tonight I watched The Shire, Network Ten’s new show about………… some terrible people living in the Sutherland Shire. Literally nothing else.

I’ve heard it’s supposed to be Australia’s answer to Jersey Shore. Well, I haven’t seen Jersey Shore, so I can’t comment on that, but what I have now seen is The Shire – and let me tell you, it is hands down the worst show I have ever watched in my entire life.

It’s a show without purpose – a cultural vacuum. During the entire show, I continued to wait for something vaguely interesting to maybe happen – but no. Just a bunch of idiots talking about surfing, botox and parties in Sylvania Waters mansions.

The one person who had potential to actually be interesting was a girl who was introduced at the airport, having just returned from overseas. But no, she was as vapid as any of them, only being a traveller because of her Dad’s credit cards.

By far the worst part of the show was this beautician who was using some kind of device on a girl’s legs.

“You hear that popping sound? That’s your fat cells melting.”
I shit you not, this is an actual quote.

Two slappers are talking about one of the girl’s lips. She’s had so much botox her top lip is nearly touching her nose. And she wants more.

Suddenly, a wild party appears. People are jumping in a pool and dancing to bad music. A guy is hitting on a girl, and his ex-girlfriend sees it.

Don’t care.

I can’t get my mind around this show. Nothing happened in it. Nobody was even slightly worthy of watching. I can’t even see how people could view this as a guilty pleasure. There is no pleasure about it.

I don’t know if it would be better or worse if the whole thing wasn’t completely fake; but as it is, it’s not only full of slappers and idiots, not only full of itself… it’s also full of shit!

I surely feel lesser for having seen this show. It’s a cliche, but I really think this mindless garbage started to rot my brain. This needs to be axed. Now. Channel Ten should feel utterly ashamed of its current crop of shows, with this one being the final straw.

And I thought Couch Time on Channel 11 was bad.

The only entertaining thing about this whole ordeal has been the comments and tweets I have seen tonight. I leave you with them.




101 Things in 1001 Days (Redux)

I’ve just started a new list on Day Zero – 101 Things in 1001 Days. I had one going on my old website, but I’ve decided to start again with fresh goals. This will keep me motivated to do interesting things, I think. I’ve even vowed to write at least 1 blog post a fortnight. We will see how long THAT lasts…

 

  1. Do Sutherland to Surf
  2. Write a blog post at least every 2 weeks for min 6 months
  3. Attend a drawing class
  4. Make a 30 things by 30 list
  5. Write a song
  6. Do work experience at WIN
  7. Get a pair of shoes that doesn’t give me blisters
  8. Win NaNoWriMo twice
  9. Have high tea
  10. Have a Eurovision party
  11. Win a photography competition
  12. Go to Teppanyaki
  13. Draw a portrait
  14. Escape debt spiral
  15. Make an animated short film
  16. Lose 20kg
  17. Get a full time job that I like
  18. Learn Adobe Encore
  19. Read a novel
  20. Make a live action short film
  21. Exercise every day for two weeks
  22. Eat okonomiyaki
  23. Get a better camera lens
  24. Have a spa day
  25. Stop working on a checkout
  26. Buy something from ThinkGeek
  27. Visit Fiji
  28. Visit Coffs Harbour
  29. Pick 3 things to start and finish on Instructables.com
  30. Get Liver Bird tattoo
  31. Go hanggliding
  32. Learn to make a basic Android app
  33. Document one month of my life in photographs
  34. Watch 26 movies I’ve never seen starting with each letter of the Alphabet In Progress
  35. Make a new friend
  36. Write a letter to myself to be opened when the 1001 days is over Complete
  37. Write a short story
  38. Write a poem
  39. Write and illustrate a children’s book
  40. Sing karaoke at a bar
  41. Make a wish on 12/12/12 at 12:12
  42. Design and name a cocktail
  43. Watch a movie from every year since moviemaking began
  44. Take a free online class
  45. Attend a live taping of a TV show
  46. Learn 50 new things by clicking the random articles button on Wikipedia
  47. Attend a film festival
  48. Go through closet and get rid of old clothes
  49. Beat 5 video games.
  50. Create a budget and stick to it
  51. Update my website In Progress
  52. Finish my “A Rapunzel Story 2012” animation
  53. Fill a sketchbook with drawings
  54. Make my own WordPress theme
  55. Sell one of my photos
  56. Watch every Disney animated classic
  57. Host a movie marathon
  58. Watch all films by Miyazaki
  59. Cook dinner about once a week or more In Progress
  60. Save $1 for each completed task In Progress
  61. Go a month without buying anything that isn’t a necessity In Progress
  62. Design my own t-shirt
  63. Learn 50 new words
  64. Create a Little Big Planet 2 level
  65. Attend a wedding
  66. Create a photographic series of my own design
  67. Practice drawing poses and expressions for 10 minutes every day for 2 weeks
  68. Spend a day making art with a friend
  69. Try rotoscope animation
  70. Get medication for my anxiety
  71. Buy no more than 1 lunch per week at TAFE except in an emergency In Progress
  72. Go a month without eating hot chips In Progress
  73. Refrain from buying alcohol for 2 months In Progress
  74. Watch and try all tutorials for Toon Boom Animate Pro
  75. Submit a film to a film festival
  76. Get paid for doing something I enjoy for once
  77. Spend a whole day in a good mood
  78. Go rollerskating
  79. Buy PS Move Complete
  80. Play a fitness video game every day for a month (min. 10 minutes)
  81. Spend a day wearing makeup
  82. Go a day without caffeine
  83. Use CalorieKing for at least 2 months In Progress
  84. Make a loaf of bread from scratch
  85. Make a simple video game
  86. Create a pixel artwork
  87. Get off Centrelink
  88. Think positively about the future for once
  89. Practice animation by copying a few seconds of an existing cartoon
  90. Make a list of 50 places I would like to visit in my lifetime
  91. Lose at least 2kg for every 1kg gained
  92. Spend a day exploring and photographing my neighborhood
  93. Digitally paint a scene from a fairy tale
  94. One year, instead of NaNoWriMo, storyboard an animation
  95. Complete a course In Progress
  96. Cook a three course meal
  97. Take a photo of each task completed In Progress
  98. Cancel my Quickflix account FOR REAL
  99. Do something awesome with pleasedonthurt.me and bestwebsiteinhistory.com
  100. Play Skyrim with mods
  101. Reach 20,000 tweets In Progress

CLASSIC BLOG: My Worst Client

CLASSIC POST: First posted 15th Jan, 2010

It’s been a strange year, and a lot has happened. I’ve had many clients, some of which disappeared off the face of the Earth before I could get any money off them for the design mockups I sent them. But those ones paled in comparison to one client I (nearly) had early on. Continue reading

Classic Blog: Brief interlude to make an announcement

CLASSIC POST: First posted 5th March, 2009

Chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you know this already. But, I think it will be good for me to announce this publicly, without anonymity.

A couple of years ago, I had some tests done because I had never had a period. I was 20 at the time and didn’t really care too much. I mean, no period? Yay! I never considered that a bad thing.

But, it was time to find out what was wrong with me. Having scoured the Internet for the past year, I had ruled out a lot of things, though there was one thing in particular I had not ruled out. And that was Swyer syndrome.

Well, after the tests, it turns out that I was right. It was Swyer syndrome. This is an intersex condition that is not detectable unless chromosomal tests are done or puberty is stunted, whichever comes first. In my case, it was not until February 2007 that my diagnosis was given.

Continue reading

Classic Blog: What is up with Apple Snobs?

CLASSIC POST: First posted 27th Feb, 2009

mac-pc-guys
So, smart guys use PCs and slackers use Macs? That’s what it’s saying, right?

I don’t dislike Macintosh computers. iPods are alright (but overrated). As with iPhones… but I would never buy one.

But why does Apple have to have that egotistical, “holier than thou” fanbase? Oh, and I can’t exempt the company itself either, not after the “I’m a PC, I’m a Mac” advertisements.

You are not cooler if you own a Mac. You are not hip if you use an iPhone. You are no better or worse than any Windows user.

Continue reading

Classic Blog: Ooh, Drama!

CLASSIC POST: Originally posted 29th December, 2008.

In my years online,  I’ve been in many arguments about various things. Over time I learned that it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. Instead, it’s more fun to point and laugh.

A few hours ago, I received an email from Livejournal, where I have an account that I use to post comments and message some friends that I don’t know anywhere else.

A couple of weeks ago, I added a comment to this Livejournal post, after searching for assistance on comic drawing (ultimately I came up with the advice “try harder” and “don’t be lazy”).

Bimbo 1It’s nippletastic.

So this post shows some very chauvenistic pages from a book on how to draw Superheroes. When they talked about women, it was almost exclusively through a “sex appeal” lens. Nevermind that a stick thin woman wouldn’t make any kind of super anything, especially when you compare it to the men on the pages. On that last link, anyone else find the “keep it real” box ironic?

Continue reading

My New and Improved Website!

Welcome everyone!
Here’s my brand new site, with an improved interface. The previous design was brilliant (well, in terms of my own design capabilities it ended up looking better than I could have hoped at the time), so I kept the colour scheme, mostly, as well as the hieroglyphic owl motif which, incidentally, is also the tattoo I got at age 18.

But, my previous design was maybe a little too quirky and not user-friendly enough. So that’s why I’ve created this new design. I hope you like it.